Hands - 65k
Table Profits - -$6622
Bonuses - $4148
Net Profit - -$2474
OK, so I ran really bad this month. The red line in the graph shows my expected value (ev) which is what I should have won according to probability. But thats not the important issue here - despite the runbad, my game over the last 65k has been at best, breakeven.
Breakeven is still winning though? or is it?
Don't listen to what anyone else says about running breakeven. Sure, you can get Supernova Elite or 2x SNE and make six figures running breakeven or even at a slight loss on the tables, but I don't see how healthy that can be for your mindset in the long term. Besides, no one can deny that #winning feels downright good! Last year I told some of my poker friends that I'd put my Supernova Elite chase as my primary goal, spending more time grinding and playing poker at the cost of spending time improving. I did exactly that, but I also said that I'd spend more time in 2011 improving my game. And I'm not just talking about improving my CAP game, it goes much more further back than that, back to the fundamentals of poker itself, and my thought process when I'm making decisions.
Its been something that I've been told time and time again, both by my friends in poker and outside, but I refused to listen to them. I was telling Seb yesterday that even Jason, as bad as a coach and person he was, recognised that fundamental flaw in my game. He tried to help me fix that issue, but I don't take being shouted down at and being berated for it, too well :) And because I've never bothered to address the issue, it has severely affected my game until now.
A matter of perspective
Its a matter of perspective of the way we view things and other people in the world. You know the common sayings, 'stop comparing yourself to other people' (i.e. keeping up with the Jones's), 'stop moaning you have it quite lucky compared to people in Africa' etc. You could say that about everything in your life, theres always someone better off than you and someone worse off. Even so, that shouldn't stop you from trying to achieve greater success in the long term. Its human nature to aim for gold, to be the best, whether we get there or not isn't the point. And this is exactly how I feel. If this year turns out to be like last year, i.e. I make SNE and six figures again, but not improve, then in my opinion I've not accomplished anything. The money won't make me happy.
You can't do it alone
Especially in poker, you'll hear time and time again that those who make the most and quickest progress are the ones who constantly talk poker with like-minded people. Not only is it key to improving your thought process when discussing hands, but also the motivational aspect of talking to those who are of a higher level of thinking and success will help drive you to work harder. Whether thats through a study group, or hiring a coach (which you should always view as an investment if you're taking poker seriously and not a cost) or just talking with poker friends, networking can open doors which would otherwise be closed.
Don't get complacent - the best piece of advice that was written in my high school leaver's book, written by a classmate who unfortunately, I have forgot. And that's what's happened as reflected by my first losing month since mid last year. The good news is that I've taken the first steps to finally fix this fundamental flaw in my game. That's all I'll say for now!
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