May Review

Hands: 73,137
Table Hours: 93
Total Profit: $19,387


Despite running bad for most of the month and falling just short of the 20k mark, I'm quite happy with the way I handled the bad side of variance for the past few weeks. As you can see in my graph above, the orange line shows my expected profit for the month, and the dark green line is what I did actually win. So had I not been run bad, I would be up 22k for the month. Thats a great indication though that my poker game has improved immensely since I started working with Deilor, and also a reflection of the improvements I've made to my mental game, thanks to Jared and Barry's book.

My goal at the start of this month was to achieve 100k vpps, and try to catch up to SNE pace. I didn't achieve that goal - instead I've accumulated only half that amount - 50k vpps, enough to maintain SNE for another month. Whilst 93 hours playing time in a month isn't something to brag about, I can say that I've spent maybe 30-40 hours in addition to this working on my mental game and reviewing my actual poker game.

For the month of June, I'm setting my goal to achieve 100k vpps, just short of 400k before the half year mark, and my 10 day holiday to Vegas. I tried making enquiries to cancel my flights, but the refund I was offered was so ridiculous to the point that I might as well just fly out there and enjoy it. Also, I've been told that the potential strike by Virgin Atlantic pilots has been resolved, not that it matters anyway since I've decided not to play in the Main Event. Hotel is booked, we're staying at the Monte Carlo on the strip so it really is going to be a break away from the grind that is online poker.

To finish on a good note, this month I also took my first steps into the world of high stakes poker - 5/10. If I look back at this time last year, I wouldn't have even thought I'd be playing at this level right now. My plan for June is to table select across from 1-2 all the way upto 5-10, and multi-table 10-12 tables. The last thing I want to do is fall back into old and bad habits, so I'll also be spending alot of time reviewing my sessions with Deilor, and working through Jared & Barry's Mental book.

For a change, I'm actually looking forward to June. Beginning of July is our Vegas trip. End of July is Raymond Lam's concert in HK...will we be attending? :D

Turning a corner

Where to start? Well, despite running bad all this month on and off the tables, this month I feel I've turned a corner in my poker career. Firstly, I'd like to thank Deilor for helping me identify the biggest mental leaks in my poker thinking. Secondly, I'd like to thank Jared Tendler and Barry Carter for writing 'The Mental Game of Poker' book. A book of poker truths and revelations which I now refer to as my bible.

I've had a few sessions with Deilor in the past couple of months, but it was only after our 3rd session, and after I'd replayed that session several times over, that it really sunk in - I was playing poker like a fish. I had so many mental game issues that prevented me from thinking clearly, and making logical decisions. I always took it for granted that I'd think logically, having a Masters degree in Physics and a maths background. But as Jared and Barry pointed out in their book, when your emotions are out of control, it turns off the higher functions of the brain - the part where logical thinking occurs.

Whilst I'm not going to go in exact detail about my mental game leaks in this blog, they're all covered in detail in  the book. I've read the book once over, and now I'm going through it again much more thoroughly, using it as a guidebook in helping me resolve the mental game flaws that Deilor found. Up until this month, these flaws had remained unresolved, and in some cases, I wasn't even consciously aware of.

Its with confidence that I can say these flaws have frustrated me and hindered my progress in the past, and that I'm so relieved and thankful that I'm fully aware of them. Fixing them is going to take a lot of work, but just knowing what to fix is a big step forward and onto the path on achieving resolution. So far this month, I'm seeing the positive effects of working on my mental game is having on my poker game, which I'll report on once the month is over.

Off the tables is a different matter, but I'm trying to apply Jared's teachings not just to poker, but to all parts of life, especially when it gets frustrating. 

Had I known that Virgin Atlantic pilots were balloting for strikes, had I known that Black Friday would have occurred, had I known that PokerStars were going to delay their WSOP announcement a few days prior to the series starting, then offer no incentives (as per previous years) for playing in the WSOP, I would have taken the option of flying to the Caribbean to play in the PCA at the beginning of the year. 

But I didn't know all this. So now I'm in an unfortunate situation with 2 direct flights booked in July, having booked early and at a ridiculous price, with PokerStars now not offering their SuperNova Elite VIPs guest suites at the Palms. There'll also be no VIP party, no 50,000 VPP incentive, no goodybag, no free PCA package if you cash in the Main Event, and absolutely no PokerStars representation at the WSOP this year.

That'll teach me to book so early, not entirely sure if I can cancel my flights and get a full refund, not sure if the strike is going to go ahead, going to Vegas at peak season and being amongst all the top poker pros but not playing the Main Event. Oh and having to book my own accommodation. Thanks PokerStars, I really feel like a VIP. I've decided pretty much to not play the Main Event now that they've withdrawn all the extras, and since they've given me the 10k buyin in cash I'd rather save that towards buying our house later this year, than waste it on a high-variance tournament.

I'm really not looking forward to going to Vegas in just over a month's time. What's the point since I'm not going there to play in the WSOP? I won't even be able to play online whilst I'm there, since its been banned. If I could have my choice right now, I'd refund those ridiculously priced tickets and book a week away to the Maldives or the Caribbean, and/or go to Hong Kong and chill out, go shopping, eat nice food and get front row seats at Raymond Lam's concert. And perhaps pop over to Macau too, to remember only the good times we had over there back in 2009. 

 

The troubles of an online poker pro

April 2011 Results
Table Hours - 100
Hands - 81k
Table Profits - +$6923
Bonuses - $6800
Net Profit - +$13,723

If it were not the fact that I be publishing my monthly results on my blog right now, very few would believe that I'm doing ok. That's because the majority of people tbh, don't understand what poker is. They think its like blackjack or roulette - pure gambling. I'll usually forgive people's ignorance of the facts since it wasn't that long ago (maybe 5 years perhaps) that I'd have said the same thing, but what I won't be so forgiving of is if you try and argue with me about the particulars when it comes to taxation of poker in the UK - you really should know better, especially if your career is in finance/accountancy.

If you'd not talk crap out of your arse  done your research properly, you'd have found out that there is no such trade as a professional gambler in the UK. It doesn't matter if you're skilled at it or not, if you play recreationally or everyday, or if you win big or small, its not taxable in the United Kingdom. I was always pretty good at doing my homework...
http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/manuals/bimmanual/bim22017.htm

But not being taxed has its downsides too. Most notably, the ability to obtain credit - specifically, you can't get a mortgage if you play poker for a living. How do I know this - well, again I've done my homework. I went to speak to a mortgage advisor in a retail bank, and when I told them what I did for a living, they just smiled and said no.

So this leaves me having to save up enough to buy outright in cash. Given the fact that house prices are pretty much still at their 2008 peak prices, especially in London and the S.E., It's likely I'm to have to budget for around £200k ($320k USD) just to even afford a 2 bed house on the very edges of London. Having lost/spent/wasted most of my previous savings back in Macau in 2009, and being busto for the second time in my life I started working towards this goal at the beginning of 2010.

Its not easy being a professional poker player, especially if you're trying to buy a property. Infact, its damn tough. As I've said before, I've not had a holiday for over 18 months now. Last Christmas and New Year's was a miserable time that I'd rather not talk about. I know I'm going to Vegas in a few months time, but its not a proper chance to really get away and not have to think about poker for a while - I've got a fair bit of reading up and playing tournaments as practice for the main event before I fly out there. Its still work that I need to do to prepare, in addition to my normal daily cash grind.

The reality is that, if I'm totally honest, it feels like I'm trapped in another rat race. The Supernova Elite rat race. The must buy a house rat race otherwise I'll be stuck living like a busto student above the restaurant for another year. Not allowed to have another dog (for obvious reasons), can't go on holiday or get a new car because we have to save for a house, can't have a bbq because we don't have a garden. FML.

It sucks especially since I'm so desperate to get out of this place, but at the same time I'm feeling well and truly burnt out. It feels like I've lost most of my motivation that kept me working hard last year. Every month this year so far, I've failed to hit my targets by a long way. I did only 100 hours on the tables last month, even though I spent alot of time working on my game away from the tables and playing less tables simultaneously, 100hrs/81k hands is poor for a SNE grinder. Even this time last year, I was much further into the Elite chase than I am right now.

And so I was told today, by someone I look up to and trust, that speaking with me they felt that I was playing poker like I'm just trying to 'survive', and not really trying to 'kill the tables'. That really struck a chord with me, because basically, he's right. We talked a little bit more about this, how I should be trying to be the best player that I can be, and not to trouble myself with trying to be as good as other players. For that in itself, I am certain that I can become a much better player if I commit to working hard enough to improve. The trouble right now is, how can I find the motivation to take it to the next level?