May Review

Hands: 73,137
Table Hours: 93
Total Profit: $19,387


Despite running bad for most of the month and falling just short of the 20k mark, I'm quite happy with the way I handled the bad side of variance for the past few weeks. As you can see in my graph above, the orange line shows my expected profit for the month, and the dark green line is what I did actually win. So had I not been run bad, I would be up 22k for the month. Thats a great indication though that my poker game has improved immensely since I started working with Deilor, and also a reflection of the improvements I've made to my mental game, thanks to Jared and Barry's book.

My goal at the start of this month was to achieve 100k vpps, and try to catch up to SNE pace. I didn't achieve that goal - instead I've accumulated only half that amount - 50k vpps, enough to maintain SNE for another month. Whilst 93 hours playing time in a month isn't something to brag about, I can say that I've spent maybe 30-40 hours in addition to this working on my mental game and reviewing my actual poker game.

For the month of June, I'm setting my goal to achieve 100k vpps, just short of 400k before the half year mark, and my 10 day holiday to Vegas. I tried making enquiries to cancel my flights, but the refund I was offered was so ridiculous to the point that I might as well just fly out there and enjoy it. Also, I've been told that the potential strike by Virgin Atlantic pilots has been resolved, not that it matters anyway since I've decided not to play in the Main Event. Hotel is booked, we're staying at the Monte Carlo on the strip so it really is going to be a break away from the grind that is online poker.

To finish on a good note, this month I also took my first steps into the world of high stakes poker - 5/10. If I look back at this time last year, I wouldn't have even thought I'd be playing at this level right now. My plan for June is to table select across from 1-2 all the way upto 5-10, and multi-table 10-12 tables. The last thing I want to do is fall back into old and bad habits, so I'll also be spending alot of time reviewing my sessions with Deilor, and working through Jared & Barry's Mental book.

For a change, I'm actually looking forward to June. Beginning of July is our Vegas trip. End of July is Raymond Lam's concert in HK...will we be attending? :D

Turning a corner

Where to start? Well, despite running bad all this month on and off the tables, this month I feel I've turned a corner in my poker career. Firstly, I'd like to thank Deilor for helping me identify the biggest mental leaks in my poker thinking. Secondly, I'd like to thank Jared Tendler and Barry Carter for writing 'The Mental Game of Poker' book. A book of poker truths and revelations which I now refer to as my bible.

I've had a few sessions with Deilor in the past couple of months, but it was only after our 3rd session, and after I'd replayed that session several times over, that it really sunk in - I was playing poker like a fish. I had so many mental game issues that prevented me from thinking clearly, and making logical decisions. I always took it for granted that I'd think logically, having a Masters degree in Physics and a maths background. But as Jared and Barry pointed out in their book, when your emotions are out of control, it turns off the higher functions of the brain - the part where logical thinking occurs.

Whilst I'm not going to go in exact detail about my mental game leaks in this blog, they're all covered in detail in  the book. I've read the book once over, and now I'm going through it again much more thoroughly, using it as a guidebook in helping me resolve the mental game flaws that Deilor found. Up until this month, these flaws had remained unresolved, and in some cases, I wasn't even consciously aware of.

Its with confidence that I can say these flaws have frustrated me and hindered my progress in the past, and that I'm so relieved and thankful that I'm fully aware of them. Fixing them is going to take a lot of work, but just knowing what to fix is a big step forward and onto the path on achieving resolution. So far this month, I'm seeing the positive effects of working on my mental game is having on my poker game, which I'll report on once the month is over.

Off the tables is a different matter, but I'm trying to apply Jared's teachings not just to poker, but to all parts of life, especially when it gets frustrating. 

Had I known that Virgin Atlantic pilots were balloting for strikes, had I known that Black Friday would have occurred, had I known that PokerStars were going to delay their WSOP announcement a few days prior to the series starting, then offer no incentives (as per previous years) for playing in the WSOP, I would have taken the option of flying to the Caribbean to play in the PCA at the beginning of the year. 

But I didn't know all this. So now I'm in an unfortunate situation with 2 direct flights booked in July, having booked early and at a ridiculous price, with PokerStars now not offering their SuperNova Elite VIPs guest suites at the Palms. There'll also be no VIP party, no 50,000 VPP incentive, no goodybag, no free PCA package if you cash in the Main Event, and absolutely no PokerStars representation at the WSOP this year.

That'll teach me to book so early, not entirely sure if I can cancel my flights and get a full refund, not sure if the strike is going to go ahead, going to Vegas at peak season and being amongst all the top poker pros but not playing the Main Event. Oh and having to book my own accommodation. Thanks PokerStars, I really feel like a VIP. I've decided pretty much to not play the Main Event now that they've withdrawn all the extras, and since they've given me the 10k buyin in cash I'd rather save that towards buying our house later this year, than waste it on a high-variance tournament.

I'm really not looking forward to going to Vegas in just over a month's time. What's the point since I'm not going there to play in the WSOP? I won't even be able to play online whilst I'm there, since its been banned. If I could have my choice right now, I'd refund those ridiculously priced tickets and book a week away to the Maldives or the Caribbean, and/or go to Hong Kong and chill out, go shopping, eat nice food and get front row seats at Raymond Lam's concert. And perhaps pop over to Macau too, to remember only the good times we had over there back in 2009. 

 

The troubles of an online poker pro

April 2011 Results
Table Hours - 100
Hands - 81k
Table Profits - +$6923
Bonuses - $6800
Net Profit - +$13,723

If it were not the fact that I be publishing my monthly results on my blog right now, very few would believe that I'm doing ok. That's because the majority of people tbh, don't understand what poker is. They think its like blackjack or roulette - pure gambling. I'll usually forgive people's ignorance of the facts since it wasn't that long ago (maybe 5 years perhaps) that I'd have said the same thing, but what I won't be so forgiving of is if you try and argue with me about the particulars when it comes to taxation of poker in the UK - you really should know better, especially if your career is in finance/accountancy.

If you'd not talk crap out of your arse  done your research properly, you'd have found out that there is no such trade as a professional gambler in the UK. It doesn't matter if you're skilled at it or not, if you play recreationally or everyday, or if you win big or small, its not taxable in the United Kingdom. I was always pretty good at doing my homework...
http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/manuals/bimmanual/bim22017.htm

But not being taxed has its downsides too. Most notably, the ability to obtain credit - specifically, you can't get a mortgage if you play poker for a living. How do I know this - well, again I've done my homework. I went to speak to a mortgage advisor in a retail bank, and when I told them what I did for a living, they just smiled and said no.

So this leaves me having to save up enough to buy outright in cash. Given the fact that house prices are pretty much still at their 2008 peak prices, especially in London and the S.E., It's likely I'm to have to budget for around £200k ($320k USD) just to even afford a 2 bed house on the very edges of London. Having lost/spent/wasted most of my previous savings back in Macau in 2009, and being busto for the second time in my life I started working towards this goal at the beginning of 2010.

Its not easy being a professional poker player, especially if you're trying to buy a property. Infact, its damn tough. As I've said before, I've not had a holiday for over 18 months now. Last Christmas and New Year's was a miserable time that I'd rather not talk about. I know I'm going to Vegas in a few months time, but its not a proper chance to really get away and not have to think about poker for a while - I've got a fair bit of reading up and playing tournaments as practice for the main event before I fly out there. Its still work that I need to do to prepare, in addition to my normal daily cash grind.

The reality is that, if I'm totally honest, it feels like I'm trapped in another rat race. The Supernova Elite rat race. The must buy a house rat race otherwise I'll be stuck living like a busto student above the restaurant for another year. Not allowed to have another dog (for obvious reasons), can't go on holiday or get a new car because we have to save for a house, can't have a bbq because we don't have a garden. FML.

It sucks especially since I'm so desperate to get out of this place, but at the same time I'm feeling well and truly burnt out. It feels like I've lost most of my motivation that kept me working hard last year. Every month this year so far, I've failed to hit my targets by a long way. I did only 100 hours on the tables last month, even though I spent alot of time working on my game away from the tables and playing less tables simultaneously, 100hrs/81k hands is poor for a SNE grinder. Even this time last year, I was much further into the Elite chase than I am right now.

And so I was told today, by someone I look up to and trust, that speaking with me they felt that I was playing poker like I'm just trying to 'survive', and not really trying to 'kill the tables'. That really struck a chord with me, because basically, he's right. We talked a little bit more about this, how I should be trying to be the best player that I can be, and not to trouble myself with trying to be as good as other players. For that in itself, I am certain that I can become a much better player if I commit to working hard enough to improve. The trouble right now is, how can I find the motivation to take it to the next level?

Poker's Black Friday - Another Setback?

It's barely even been in the news here in the UK, but Friday 15th April 2011 will forever be known as 'Black Friday' in the short history of online poker. For those who aren't in the know, last Friday the US Department of Justice and the FBI released a press statement indicting the executives at 3 of the biggest online sites - PokerStars, Full Tilt and Absolute Poker/UB, for illegal gambling, bank fraud and money laundering.

Along with many of my poker friends that I've talked to over the past few days, my initial thoughts were that this was some kind of practical joke. But then I saw the twitter feeds from top pros and respected names in the poker world, alongside the many many threads on twoplustwo forum, and reports from Reuters confirming the news, but it still didn't feel real, and I'll explain why.

Since December of last year, lobbyists in the US have been trying to get online poker legalised and regulated. As recent as last month, the announcements of Wynn Resorts partnership with PokerStars, and Station Casinos partnership with Full Tilt were viewed as significant positive steps towards legalisation. Now both Wynn and Station Casinos have terminated these agreements. US players are now banned from playing at PS, FT and Absolute. So you can see why I was so optimistic that the poker economy would improve over the next few years. There was no forewarning of this event. It just happened.

Even just the day before, I met up with many of my former work colleagues, and was telling them that I was doing well this year, after getting Supernova Elite last year. My focus this year was getting SNE again, and improving my game so I can crush the tables. Now all of that is doubt - I don't even know if I'm gonna be able to continue playing on PokerStars in the weeks to come, nevermind getting Elite again, or going to play in the WSOP Main Event in Vegas in July. Funny how one day things can be going good, and then the next day everything is thrown into doubt.

So what now? Well, as of Friday I started trying to cashout my bankroll from Stars - there was no official response from their reps until Saturday, so I assumed the worst and acted how most people would - cashing out my bankroll. So far I've had one withdrawal approved, and one is pending, leaving me with a small amount to continue to grind in the meantime. Whilst I don't keep a massive amount online, I certainly can't afford to lose that amount. Such is the trust that I placed in PokerStars, I'd have said pre-Friday that the money was safer there than in any UK high street bank account.

I'm also so close to releasing 6.6k of bonuses so for the time being I'm continuing to play poker whilst I can, and I need to get a minimum of 50k vpps this month to keep my current SNE status. Whether I'll be able to continue on as a poker pro for the remainder of this year in light of recent events, its out of my control for now. All I do know is that the immediate future for online poker is at best, uncertain.

Back In The Driver's Seat

Even though I already have a full UK driver's license, it has been over 2 years since I last sat behind the steering wheel, which incidentally was when I actually passed. So I've had to don the L plates on whilst I'm driving, and getting used to navigate my way on the roads. I'm not afraid to admit that my current driving ability is poor, and that I need to improve. Also, the same could be said of my current poker ability.

Last post I talked about running breakeven on the tables, but I didn't go into much depth, besides mentioning the fact that left unchecked for an extended period of time, it can negatively affect your mindset. Infact, I'll dare go as far as saying that being longterm breakeven on the tables is actually costing you money, and the need for self realisation that you suck, and have huge leaks in your game.

The reasoning for this is actually, quite simple. When you're playing poker to win money, you choose to sit in games with weaker players, i.e. the fish. Thats because you're expected to be at a positive expectation (+ev) when you play against the fish, zero ev vs regs of a similar skill level, and -ev vs sharks. In most cases, even with 1 big fish and 2 sharks at the table, your overall expectation should still be positive. That's because the mistakes the fish is going to make vastly outweigh the mistakes that you'll make when you're in pots vs the sharks.

And lest we not forget, Poker is a game of decisions. Those who can make the best decisions and the least mistakes, will be the top winners. Everyone makes mistakes, even those regs like Nanonoko who crush the games, but the mistakes they make are usually small and big mistakes are infrequent. If you find yourself breakeven and you are a reasonable table selector, chances are you have making many mistakes and have big leaks, even when it comes down to exploiting the weakest of players for maximum value. Simply just sitting on a table with many fish isn't enough. You need to know how to exploit the mistakes that the fish will make in order to profit.

For the past week and a half, I've been working a tonne on my game, especially the basics. In the past, I've underestimated how important the foundations are to success later on, and this has hindered my progress thus so far. So I'm back to playing ABC poker, and learning the reasons behind the decisions we make on the tables. I've also dropped to playing far fewer tables for now (5-6) so I can focus more and implement my decision making process at the tables.

For so long I've been mass multi-tabling upto 24 tables on autopilot, without really consciously thinking about my decisions. The best decision I've made so far this year was that as of the end of last month, I no longer wanted to be a non-thinking mass multitabling breakeven rakeback monkey. Thus my poker journey begins (again)...

March Review

Table Hours - 69.5
Hands - 65k
Table Profits - -$6622
Bonuses - $4148
Net Profit - -$2474


OK, so I ran really bad this month. The red line in the graph shows my expected value (ev) which is what I should have won according to probability. But thats not the important issue here - despite the runbad, my game over the last 65k has been at best, breakeven.


Breakeven is still winning though? or is it?


Don't listen to what anyone else says about running breakeven. Sure, you can get Supernova Elite or 2x SNE and make six figures running breakeven or even at a slight loss on the tables, but I don't see how healthy that can be for your mindset in the long term. Besides, no one can deny that #winning feels downright good! Last year I told some of my poker friends that I'd put my Supernova Elite chase as my primary goal, spending more time grinding and playing poker at the cost of spending time improving. I did exactly that, but I also said that I'd spend more time in 2011 improving my game. And I'm not just talking about improving my CAP game, it goes much more further back than that, back to the fundamentals of poker itself, and my thought process when I'm making decisions.

Its been something that I've been told time and time again, both by my friends in poker and outside, but I refused to listen to them. I was telling Seb yesterday that even Jason, as bad as a coach and person he was, recognised that fundamental flaw in my game. He tried to help me fix that issue, but I don't take being shouted down at and being berated for it, too well :) And because I've never bothered to address the issue, it has severely affected my game until now.


A matter of perspective


Its a matter of perspective of the way we view things and other people in the world. You know the common sayings, 'stop comparing yourself to other people' (i.e. keeping up with the Jones's), 'stop moaning you have it quite lucky compared to people in Africa' etc. You could say that about everything in your life, theres always someone better off than you and someone worse off. Even so, that shouldn't stop you from trying to achieve greater success in the long term. Its human nature to aim for gold, to be the best, whether we get there or not isn't the point. And this is exactly how I feel. If this year turns out to be like last year, i.e. I make SNE and six figures again, but not improve, then in my opinion I've not accomplished anything. The money won't make me happy.


You can't do it alone

Especially in poker, you'll hear time and time again that those who make the most and quickest progress are the ones who constantly talk poker with like-minded people. Not only is it key to improving your thought process when discussing hands, but also the motivational aspect of talking to those who are of a higher level of thinking and success will help drive you to work harder. Whether thats through a study group, or hiring a coach (which you should always view as an investment if you're taking poker seriously and not a cost) or just talking with poker friends, networking can open doors which would otherwise be closed.


Don't get complacent - the best piece of advice that was written in my high school leaver's book, written by a classmate who unfortunately, I have forgot. And that's what's happened as reflected by my first losing month since mid last year. The good news is that I've taken the first steps to finally fix this fundamental flaw in my game. That's all I'll say for now!

Mid Month Update

As per usual, this month started off really bad. I don't know why, but its always happening. After a week in, I found myself down over 3k, running bad because my all-in ev was around zero (this basically means I should've been breakeven). So time to take a few days off, we drove out to Bath - home of the Roman natural thermal spa . We did the usual sight seeing, and also spent 4 hours in the Thermae Spa. Lucky for us it wasn't that busy on a Tuesday, and the weather was great so we spent almost 2 hours at the rooftop spa:

I definitely recommend that anyone who's currently stressed out from their jobs or whatever, spend some time there! So relaxing :)

So now after that mini-break, I'm back to grinding on the tables, feeling motivated again. I have about 3 and a half months before I fly out to Vegas for the Main Event, so I really need to get a move on with both Supernova Elite and learning a bit of tourney poker before then. As I'm behind pace for my targets this month (I don't even want to think about pace for 1.5x SNE!!) and also because the number of fish at NL400 seems to have dwindled abit since the changes, I took the plunge and started mixing in NL600 tables into my grind. So far its going ok, theres not much difference to the NL400 games except the pots and betting structures are a fraction bigger. The regulars are mostly the same as NL400 and the fish too, they are just as bad as they are at lower stakes, except they have more money to lose :)

In other news, I've recently been buying alot of things online, a friend mentioned that I had developed a bout of 'retail therapy' to ease my runbad on the tables, but I disagree - sure, I bought alot of games for my PC and X-Box recently, but they are there for when I need to cooldown from a really bad poker session. The kinect I bought, was for the purpose of shifting some weight, and being a bit more active. I've also spent a fair bit on computer stuff, namely a new Steelseries Xai mouse:

A new PSU for the PC that I initially bought in Macau:

A 60gb OCZ Vertex 2 SSD:

A Logitech G510 Keyboard (awaiting delivery):

The point I'm trying to make is, all the above stuff is for 'work', i.e. poker. I needed a decent 2nd backup mouse (I already have a Razer Imperator) to replace the Deathadder which started double-clicking randomly, causing me to lose money on the tables. I got so fed up with trying to fix that damn mouse that I binned it and got the Xai. You need a reliable and comfortable mouse, if you're gonna be grinding lots of poker tables for long hours.

My new PSU actually saved me money, because after almost 2 years of suffering random BSODs with that PC I bought in Macau, not knowing whether it was an overheating issue, a faulty mb, cpu or ram - I figured out that the stupid people at the PC shop had incorrectly built my machine with an inadequate PSU! So now that my PC is stable, I can put on hold my plans to upgrade to the Sandybridge platform, for at least another year - saving up for a house/flat is still our immediate priority.

The SSD was a must-buy too - since I'm running a SQL database and lots of background programs when I'm playing poker, I need a quick and responsive PC. The SSD solves that problem nicely. The G510 keyboard, well, this crappy Razer Arctosa that I also bought in Macau is a US style one and doesn't have a UKP sign. Nor does it have backlight keys. Those excuses alone are enough to justify getting a new keyboard, will all the bells and whistles of the G510.

Not everything I bought was expensive though, I did manage to pickup a bargain along the way, in the form of some G-Star jeans that were on sale for only 15quid, original price 80!

Online shopping ftw!